What don’t I believe?

Just for fun, here is a list of conspiracy theories that I just can’t buy into:

The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, especially since It’s been discredited as a forgery.

The Bavarian Illuminati.

Reptoid aliens have infiltrated human society.

That Global Warming is a deliberate lie. I mean, come on. The frickin’ permafrost is melting. It’s supposed to be, well, permanently frosted!

That the lunar landings were faked.

That Kurt Cobain was not a suicide.

That Elvis did not die in 1977.

That Satanic Ritual Abuse runs rampant in the US.

That the 9/11 attacks were an “inside job.” (Though I think that the Bush administration has profited from the attacks.)

That a UFO crashed in Roswell. I suspect it was a top secret American project. I doubt that we have been visited by aliens, though I imagine there is life on other planets.

That barcodes have anything to do with the Biblical mark of the beast.

That contrails from jets are actually chemicals being dropped on people.

That flouride poisons Americans, is used for mind-control, or anything other than strengthening teeth.

That Paul is, indeed, dead.

I’m sure there are others. So…what don’t you believe?


11 Responses to “What don’t I believe?”

  1. I love a good conspiracy me, but obviously one has to think these things through and realise the majority of conspiracy theories are hokum.

    Saying that, if you accept that the universe contains a variety of sentient life, who is to say that human beings are the most technologically advanced of all the races that exist? Whose to say that more other beings haven’t realised in practical terms what our cutting edge science only sees as theoretical possibility? Valid questions I think.

  2. yeah.

    I think aliens have probably at least buzzed the tower. The moon landing thing, sad to say, I also think it might have been an elaborate production. Necessary at the time because of the space-race and the ‘morale’ of Americans. But I had someone with so many angles sit down and tell me why they didn’t believe we’d landed on the moon, and after a couple years I still find several of his points difficult to discredit (and I wanted to).

    But you wanna know what we don’t believe. I don’t believe Brittney is Satan incarnate, I think she’s just a screwed up kid. I don’t believe the existence of life was a big accident, and I don’t believe the leaders of this country are doing their job.

    You really don’t believe in the reptoid alien thing???? Dude…

  3. Yeah the existence of life was no accident, god got drunk one night and well, it was a singles bar, and well, you know the rest.

  4. Reptoid aliens have too infiltrated our society. I was married to one! Luckily for us all the reptoid aliens are of inferior intelligence so while a nuisance they are really just a benign and annoying addition to our daily life.

  5. I heart conspiracies. I do believe the moon landings were faked. The fact that NASA “lost” all the original films a year or two ago is somewhat suspect. As for poor Kurt, it’s plausible that he didn’t die by his own hand. I’d like to believe Elvis is still among the living, it’s a better image than him dead on a toilet.

    What about Jim Morrison? You didn’t mention the lizard king. Is he alive and living in Africa?

  6. Jim Morrison became an accountant in Paris after his “death”.


  7. What if Elvis killed Kurt.

  8. Nah, Kurt killed Elvis, all the pieces fit.

  9. What if Elvis had cosmetic surgery and became Juan Valdez? A whole world of possibilities….

  10. I’ve never been an Elvis fan, but I love Juan Valdez? What does that say about me? Is that like hating early Beatles stuff but loving everything Rubber Soul and beyond?

  11. I don’t believe the Ramones wore wigs.
    I don’t believe that Bad Religion are actually very Christian and God Worshipping.
    I don’t believe Rimbaud converted on his deathbed.
    I don’t believe that Dick Cheney has any human emotion, just pure Darwinian drive to do evil for his own benefit.
    But I ESPECIALLY don’t believe the Ramones wore wigs.

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