Just musing here. A coulple of years ago, right before my marriage collapsed, I started going through a transformation of sorts. See, I knew something was wrong in my life, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. The following are the changes I’ve made between then and now:

1) Lost 40 lbs. I have actually gained a little of that back, but you know what? 139 lbs was actually too skinny for me anyway. I look best at 145 lbs (though I’m 150 right now).

2) Started working out. Before, I could run at 5 mph for 5 minutes, according to the treadmill. Now, I run in 2 mile races, though I only run at about 6.2 MPH. Besides that, I’m lifting weights, and it shows! I actually have muscle tone, which is something I never had before!

3) Stopped wearing clever T-shirts. Because, really, they are not that clever.

4) Became more politically aware. My ex-wife wouldn’t allow me to talk about politics because a) she didn’t understand it (and yes, politics is a singular noun!) and b) I would get angry and worked up when I talked about it. I still get angry, but I’m actually trying to make a difference now by telling you all about the awesomeness that is Dennis Kucinich. 😛

5) Became more confident. This sounds cliche, I know, but my confidence has grown, and it was a conscious effort. I knew that low self esteem was holding me back, so I worked to change that. I still lack confidence, but if I start to fake it at first, I can find the confidence to continue. This is how I survive karaoke night, as well as how I was able to take that freelance writing gig. It’s also how I maintain this blog (though seeing that I had 83 hits yesterday helps!).

So…have you recently transformed yourself? Talk about it here! (and otter, do you know of any other ways I have transformed? Let me know!)


6 Responses to “Self-Transformation”

  1. I think that I’m in the midst of a transformation. I don’t know yet what that transformation will result in. When I was married my ex husband wouldn’t let me read in bed because it bothered him. Now I read in bed all the time. I used to dread going home at night. I used to dread being home period. Now I love to be home. I think that in order to leave something you need to experience some sort of transformation prior so I’m sure there are things about me that are different I just don’t think that I’m fully transformed yet. Maybe we never truly are.

    It sounds like your happy. Bravo. I appreciate happiness in a way I never thought I would. For myself and others.

  2. Jason, you transformed into an owner of playmobile! How could you forget this? 🙂

  3. Oh, Yeah!

    Also, I now drink black coffee!

    *Sings* No sugar tonight in my coffee! No sugar tonight in my tea!

    (OK…I still sometimes put it in my tea.)

  4. […] Jaynova wrote a post about transformation the other day. (Maybe it was yesterday so that would mean he wrote it yesterday). Transformations occur in (forgive the What About Bob? reference) in “baby steps”. One small change added to another small change that eventually form to make what can only be described as a transformation. […]

  5. I found your #5 pretty inspiring. I’ve heard that idea before, that bravado can carry you over to confidence in a pinch.

    I didn’t know you before, so I donno if this is a change, but you exude …for lack of a better word ‘positivity’. That comes across on your blog.

    I had sort of the opposite happen with the political thing. My ex became so focused on politics and the issues *he* thought were important (particularly immigration) that he would talk of nothing else and sneered when I tried to change the focus. It was particularly ugly because he’d force the discussion, and we very much disagreed on the immigration issue. I’ve always felt that if not for an accident of chance and birth, I could be one of those people born in an impoverished nation. I just don’t buy into the ‘us’ and ‘them’ outlook.

    Anyway, its been nice to meet people who can value politics but also beauty, art, humor, stories. I got so tired of his rants.

  6. Wow! I exude positivity whist calling Lou Dobbs a sack of puss! I roxxor!

    I’m sure the otter gets tired of my political rants, but at least we agree on the issues I rant about (why we need a single-payer health care system, why capitalism and education do not mix, how Dennis Kucinich is not THAT short).

    The immigration issue is a complicated one. You can’t tell me that if undocumented immigrants were not working the jobs that they do, Americans still wouldn’t want the jobs. At the same time, as you say, it is an accident of birth that separates “us” from “them”. I think I’ll say no more about this iin these comments, though. I’ll make a post of it later. Then, we can all have a multi-faceted discussion about immigration and Kucinich’s height.

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