The otter’s Hearsay Movie Review: I’m Not There

Comprised of things the otter said as she MST3K’d her way through the Bob Dylan not-quite-biopic, I’m Not There.

How long is this?
Wow. Christian Bale is either doing the worst Dylan impression ever, or the best George W. Bush impression ever.
Heath Ledger and Charlotte Gainsbourg are not a believable couple. He is stereotypically…hot, and she’s all weird and gangly.
Is it over?
No! It’s too late to introduce new characters!
THAT’S Richard Gere? I thought it was just some old dude.
When does it end?!?
Seriously, Christian Bale needs to just…not be in this movie.
Julianne Moore CAN NOT act.
This movie was made by baby boomers. The probably did lots of drugs and said, “yeah! This will be a good movie!” Only they were wrong.
This movie was as bad as Bobby. It just shows you that you can get a bunch of great people behind something, it it will still suck.
This was the worst movie I have ever seen.


10 Responses to “The otter’s Hearsay Movie Review: I’m Not There”

  1. i was actually thinking about watching this, but i trust the otters summation ENTIRELY. in fact, can we get more reviews like this?
    and by the by, richard gere IS just some old dude. and baby boomers are FULL of bad ideas, like merging corporations and incriminating file sharing. and heath ledger is hot, and was a sweet sweet man and he came into the cafe i manage a few times and he always tipped, bussed his table, and smiled.
    i’m tired.

  2. Ha ha. I guess I am kind of difficult to watch a movie with. 🙂

  3. The One guy who liked this Movie Says:

    First off, you’re all idiots. Second, this movie was kickass. Third, maybe you writing-center asswipes could start thinking beyond normal narrative cinema. It’s ok if you didn’t like it. Just stop watching movies with Kelly. She’s full of opinions and they’re all crap. Finally, end this predjudice against baby-boomers. They were full of good ideas, like having babies.

  4. The One guy who liked this Movie Says:

    Im sorry for my outburst, I just can’t stand this otter.

  5. Ok, otter’s brother. 😛

    However, many people who liked this movie say, “The director was evoking Fellini,” or, “the dream sequence was Lynch-esque.” My questtion is “why does the director copy other’s work?” In other words, if someone makes an experimental film, and they copy the aesthetic of others, was it really an experiment at all, or was it just pastiche?

    (For the record, I love David Lynch. I even loved Lost Highway, which was very low on narrative and high on abstract ideas.)

  6. The One guy who liked this Movie Says:

    I also enjoyed Lost highway. I think the source of our disagreement is the otter. Her opinions are worthless. Anyways, I think that the Fellini sequences had legitimate conceptual purpose. In imitating Fellini’s 8 1/2 aeshetic, Haynes was saying something about the Blanchet character. It was probably a little esoteric. I recognize that. I’d have to watch it another time to comment on it being Lynch-esque, but I don’t think that any of this disqualifies ‘I’m not there’ from being an enjoyable experience. I really do think the film is experimental as a bio pic. Imagine how it might have been made with any one of those actors playing Dylan the whole time. ‘Im not there’ doesn’t pretend to be historical at all. Instead, it looks at the Dylan myth and represents it in the same confused manner as it is understood. In this way, i think the film is successful. I can understand if someone doesn’t like it. I, though, was glad to see a new form for the bio pic that found inspiration in its subject. I enjoyed the Fellini references. I thought Blanchett’s performance was fantastic and surprising. I also thought it ended in a good place. I thought it had a strong composition, rhythm and use of aesthetic. All of these opinions are more or less subjective. Anyways, I don’t think that it was unjustified in borrowing its aesthetic at times. Understood as a bio pic, I would still call ‘Im not there’ experimental. I’ll also say that it’s borrowing of aeshtetic, in this case, is more of a strength than a weakness. From ‘Poison’, an earlier Hayne’s film, you’ll see that this sort of composition, and the aesthetic of the Bale sequences, are unique to Hayne’s own developing style.

  7. Hey little otter brother. I respect your opionion on cinema, even though I do recall seeing Pokemon in the theater with you…and you loving it.

  8. *reads through*


    So did she like it?

  9. Otter, leave Pokemon alone! You don’t understand…as anime, it was pretty run-of-the-mill, but as a documentary about cock-fighting, it opened all-new doors of creativity! Kunihiko Yuyama is one of the greatest, most original directors ever! And if you had seen Pokemon Heroes AND Pokemon 4Ever (And I know…those are the stupid English titles), you would see Kuni’s (as we, in the “know,” call him) developing visual idiom. PWND!

  10. The One guy who liked this Movie Says:

    Listen, this will be my last post. Pokemon: The First Movie is a cinematic expression of life’s most profound experiences: friendship, alienation, redemption and the primal drive to catch ’em all. Maybe in ten years, when you’re well enough along on your own Pokemon adventure, you’ll understand.

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