Archive for the Rambling Category

One Week.

Posted in and other fun, News, Rambling on 11 April 2010 by jason

It’s spring again, which means the crime in my neighborhood is about to go up.. Just last week, I said to a friend, “Wow…the weather’s really nice. I wonder how long it will take for my neighbors to turn this place into a police station.”

One week. That’s how long.

On Wednesday, I cam home to 3 Sheriff’s cruisers, uniforms everywhere, and some people who were dressed real nice but packing heat. I tried to ignore it and get ready to go for a run, but my curiosity got the better of me, so I asked another neighbor what was going on.

It turns out, one of my neighbors had died of a drug overdose about 4 days earlier, and the people on that side of the building had just started to notice an odor coming from is apartment.

So, yeah. The spring is off to one ghettofabulous start.

My clothes are shrinking.

Posted in beer, Exercise, Karaoke, Rambling, Sports on 14 April 2009 by jason

Yesterday, I went to put on my work clothes (decent pants, button-down shirt), only to find that they no longer fit. My nights of drunken karaoke have finally caught up with me.
Cutting back on the beer…check.
Working out 3-4 days a week…check.
Preparing for a race…check.
Watching what I eat…not so much.

A question of work ethic.

Posted in otter, Rambling on 29 March 2009 by jason

A few weeks ago, Kelly and I were leaving our favorite coffee shop in Downtown Canton (Muggswigz) when we were approached by a man who was loitering around outside. He came up and said something like, “Excuse me. Are you from around here?”

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Well,” he continued. “I’m not. I live in Toledo, and I was down here doing some work. Now, I’m waiting for the greyhound to take me back, but I was wondering, if it’s not too much trouble, could I get 4 dollars off of you? I don’t have any cash on me, and I’m hungry, so I want to go across the street and get some McDonald’s.”

“You know what?” I said. “All I have is a five. Here.”

“Thank you! You don’t know how much this means! God bless you!” he replied. Then, the man returned to the spot were he was loitering.

Kelly and I got back in the car, and I said, “That pisses me off! He’s just standing there!”

“Well, what did you expect?” Kelly asked. “You don’t give money to someone and expect to dictate how they spend it. Just give or don’t and move on.”

“I don’t care how he spends it!” I said. “I assumed he would spend it on drugs. What pisses me off is that he told me he was going across the street! He’s not even trying to make it look like he’s going across the street.”

“So…you want him to lie to you some more?”

“All I ask is that he have a little work ethic! Panhandling is an occupation, just like any other. I just ask that, if he tries to create the illusion that he’s just looking for food to get money, he maintain that illusion until I can’t see him anymore!”

Kelly sighed. “I think you are ridiculous.”

“No! What’s ridiculous is the standard we hold our beggars to. We should really expect more! I feel ripped off now!”

My question to all of you, then, is, “AM I being ridiculous?” Should I expect this man to walk around the corner for 30 seconds to earn his pay? I, personally, don’t think it’s too much to ask!

On a related note, he approached us again yesterday. He didn’t recognize us, and I didn’t give him any money this time. I don’t expect him to remember everyone he talks to, and if he had gone around the corner last time, I might have given him more money!

My Apartment Building is a Police Station.

Posted in Rambling on 8 March 2009 by jason

When the weather’s nice, my apartment complex is always crawling with police officers. This is mostly due to domestic disputes; my street seems to be a magnet for them. Anyway, yesterday morning, or so I’ve heard, it happened again: my neighbor beat his wife up, and the police took him away. I slept through all this, which should be an indication of how often it happens.

Fast forward about six hours. I’m awake, playing some video games after winding down after a run (2 miles…I need to get back to the 4 I was running before my knees started bothering me), when I hear “KABOOM!!!”

The people upstairs are moving, I think. That was not a gun…it was a sofa falling.

Ten minutes later, and the police are back. Concerned, I listen through my door (This is PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR!!! If there is a shootout in my building, I have the right to know!). It turns out, the “Kaboom!” was the sound of the neighbor’s 12-guage falling and discharging into the wall of their neighbors’ apartment. No one was hurt, but my neighbors 2 doors down from me are still pulling pellets out of their furniture.

So, here’s my dilemma, and it’s a completely philosophical one. The 2nd amandment protects the right to bear arms. I’m OK with that. Also, my neighbor had the gun there because she feared for her life. She has the right to protect herself. However, her right to protect herself has now endangered my life. What if the gun had fallen the other direction? It would have discharged at my living room, where I was sitting. I could be dead right now because she had a firearm in an unsafe place. Should she still have the right to have that gun? What about my right to not be shot at?

Cold. As Balls.

Posted in Rambling on 15 January 2009 by jason

I stepped outside to go for my mile-long walk to the bus stop, thinking, “It’s not as cold as I thought it was going to be.” A few blocks later, I realized just how monumentally, catastrophically wrong I was.

According to NPR, which I was focusing on to ignore the pain of my freezing extrmities, it was 0 degrees in Canton. Zero. As I made my way to the bus stop, I would cover one eye to prevent it from freezing solid; when the other eye began to hurt, I would switch. I used my wrist to hold my scarf over my face to keep the air from getting in, and I hugged the other arm around my body to keep my coat close to me.

Once I got to work, it took another 1/2 hour to get the feeling in my toes back. Now, I lke riding the bus; I like that it gives me lots of time to read and whatnot, but I’m really wishing I had a car to drive or a tauntaun to cut open right about now.

Sick. Again. Blah.

Posted in Dreams, Rambling on 22 October 2008 by jason

Well, I just got over another one of those colds. You know the ones: you sneeze, your throat’s sore, you hallucinate all night, having visions of NaNoWriMo meetings in warehouses of moving crates while the angle of death, a man with a photocopy of Richard Nixon’s face for a head, chases people around with a chainsaw.

That’s where I was Monday night. Feverish, run-down, and possibly insane. I actually called off work, which is something I never do. I’m feeling better now, though.

I’ve really need some health insurance.

My head…

Posted in Conspiracies, Rambling on 9 October 2008 by jason

…hurts. Again. I woke up with a headache, dry mouth, and general disdain for the morning. This leads me to believe that either:

1) I have sleep apnea, and I’m not breathing in my sleep.
2) I have multiple personalities, and my other personality is getting drunk at night
3) I’m being abducted by aliens every night.

I need more coffee.

A Road Less Traveled?

Posted in Exercise, Rambling, Uncategorized on 24 September 2008 by jason

Yesterday, I decided to try to find a shortcut to the grocery store. You see, usually, I have to walk south about 1/4 mile, then East for a while, and finally North about 1/2 mile. A couple of weeks ago, I saw that just north of me, there is a “Covered Bridge Park,” which looks like it goes straight through to the store.

When I got to the park, the 1st thing I noticed was that it is hilly. You can’t really see from one end to the other over the hills. Also, there is a baseball field where some kids were playing. Around this field is a track. This track is where my troubles began.

The track is covered in rocks. I suppose they call it gravel, but it was rocks. Sharp, pointy rocks. In my generic chucks (actually, Old Navy brand canvas shoes), I could feel every one of them. So I stumbles and limped along the track until I got around the baseball diamond. As I expected, as my luck usually follows this way, the path is a loop. When I got behind the diamond, I had nowhere to go but where I came from. i had hopes that I would find, hmmm…maybe a covered bridge!?! No such luck.

I decided that I would not be deterred…I pushed my wat through the trees along the path, hoping it would lead me to the store. I pushed through one side of the wooded area and into…

A cemetary. What the hell? As far as I knew, there was no cemetary between my apartment and the store, so I was officially lost. Not only that, but due to my lack of direction sense, I wasn’t sure which was would lead to the road. I listened for traffic, and thought I knew where it was coming from, so I headed in that direction.

fortunately, I was right, and I trecked out of the graveyard and onto Cleveland Avenue, the busy street where the store is. Unfortunately, it seems that I overshot the store by about 1/2 mile.

The end result of the adventure is that a 45 minute walk took 2 hours, my feet are blistered, and I still don’t know of a shortcut to get to the store.

Olympic Reflection

Posted in Rambling, Sports, Television on 27 August 2008 by jason

(Jayson, this will sound familiar…)

I missed most of the Olympics this time around, though I’ve never been a big fan anyway. I’ve never really liked sports, and I don’t get patriotism, so I’m nopt really the target audience. Watching Women’s fencing, I was surprised at how bland sword-fighting could be. I mean, come on! Women swinging swords at each other! That sounds great, but it’s boo-ring. I said to my friends, “This would be more interesting if it was to the death.”

That’s when I realized that ALL Olympic events would be more interesting if they were were to the death.

Think about it! No one leaves the fencing mat until someone dies! Yeah!
Or how about cycling? Everyone gets a spear or a wrench? Awesome.
Weightlifting to the death! All medals given posthumously.
Put a shark tank under the parallel bars! Landmines in the sand of the vollyball court! Archery at ten paces!

THAT, I would watch.

“Now I’m feeling dangerous…

Posted in Exercise, Rambling on 16 August 2008 by jason

…Riding on city buses for a hobby; it’s sad.”

Still doing the bus thing, which has its ups and downs. On the plus side, I’m getting a hell of a workout. I’m also getting some reading done. (Don’t tell anyone at work, but I’ve been reading a collection of Hemingway short stories. Also don’t tell them that I liked “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber”).

The bad thing about the bus is, as I said, the stop is 20 minutes away from my apartment, and the walk back and forth, as well as the other walking I have to do when I transfer buses, makes my right ankle HURT. Because of this, I’m not running as much as I’d like to.

Another bad thing is that there are some WEIRD people on the bus, including the guy who used to live across the hall from me. See, this guy has problems, so I give him some leeway. However, I think he uses these problems in order to act however he wants with no repercussions. So, as the bus got stuck in traffic, this guy starts shouting, “Hey! YOU CAN GO NOW! Come on, Jack Hannah, move the fucking bus! Stop ignoring me! I know you can all hear me! You’re all a bunch of fucking faggots! YOU! FUCKING! FAGGOTS! What are you waiting for? Movie time? Fucking go!”

I probably would have been concerned if I hadn’t lived across the hall from this guy for about 2 or 3 years. He shouted all the time, but not quite like that. (There was another time that I was at a restaurant, and he was there. He ordered his food, then began shouting “I’m WAITING!!!”)

So, that was my bus experience yesterday.